When you are a member of an online dating club, you have few contacts, and sometimes you meet few people in a week for coffee/drink. Also, there are others you have not met yet, but you enjoy written communication with them. And then one of them asks you to dinner.. If you agree, are you supposed to cancel all coffee/drink meetings that are already planned? Are you supposed to stop written communication with others? And at what point are you supposed to cancel/freeze your membership?
When you are a member of an online dating club, you have few contacts, and sometimes you meet few people in a week for coffee/drink. Also, there are others you have not met yet, but you enjoy written communication with them. And then one of them asks you to dinner.. If you agree, are you supposed to cancel all coffee/drink meetings that are already planned? Are you supposed to stop written communication with others? And at what point are you supposed to cancel/freeze your membership?
Ekaterina...I hope ,for you, that this turns out as YOU want it to. i think you are a terrific lady with much to offer. A man would be lucky to have you at his side.
Quoting Ekaterina35
Shaz, I certainly trust your experience! :) Rory, I loved the "currently unavailable" wording, and really hope to get a chance to use it!
Michelle, The only thing that is really great on this site, is blogs, where you make friends that you can count on for advice, and more!
Quoting Ekaterina35
Shaz, I certainly trust your experience! :) Rory, I loved the "currently unavailable" wording, and really hope to get a chance to use it!
Michelle, The only thing that is really great on this site, is blogs, where you make friends that you can count on for advice, and more!
Ekaterina...I hope ,for you, that this turns out as YOU want it to. i think you are a terrific lady with much to offer. A man would be lucky to have you at his side.
I really enjoyed this topic and appreciated everyone's perspective. I will certainly keep those points made in mind for my own journey in the world of dating.
I really enjoyed this topic and appreciated everyone's perspective. I will certainly keep those points made in mind for my own journey in the world of dating.
the ONLY time to stop looking for other compatible men is when HE suggests BEING exclusive.Then you talk about it. DO NOT be the one to bring it up. IF you do, yo umight as well just forget the whole thing.
Men are VERY weird when it comes to this sort of stuff. They want to be the ones to set the tone and rhythm and believe me,,,,they mean it. I just had the rude experience of this exact same thing. We had several really good dates,,and I foolishly said Id prefer for us not to see anyone else while we explore what we might become to one another. Lets just say it wasnt well received and I am no longer seeing that particular man.
Quoting Ekaterina35
When you are a member of an online dating club, you have few contacts, and sometimes you meet few people in a week for coffee/drink. Also, there are others you have not met yet, but you enjoy written communication with them. And then one of them asks you to dinner.. If you agree, are you supposed to cancel all coffee/drink meetings that are already planned? Are you supposed to stop written communication with others? And at what point are you supposed to cancel/freeze your membership?
Quoting Ekaterina35
When you are a member of an online dating club, you have few contacts, and sometimes you meet few people in a week for coffee/drink. Also, there are others you have not met yet, but you enjoy written communication with them. And then one of them asks you to dinner.. If you agree, are you supposed to cancel all coffee/drink meetings that are already planned? Are you supposed to stop written communication with others? And at what point are you supposed to cancel/freeze your membership?
the ONLY time to stop looking for other compatible men is when HE suggests BEING exclusive.Then you talk about it. DO NOT be the one to bring it up. IF you do, yo umight as well just forget the whole thing.
Men are VERY weird when it comes to this sort of stuff. They want to be the ones to set the tone and rhythm and believe me,,,,they mean it. I just had the rude experience of this exact same thing. We had several really good dates,,and I foolishly said Id prefer for us not to see anyone else while we explore what we might become to one another. Lets just say it wasnt well received and I am no longer seeing that particular man.
When both of you agree that you are in a mutually exclusive relationship. I appreciate your integrity, but I would suggest waiting to see if the relationship is going to go somewhere. If you think it is, you can always state that you are currently unavailable.
When both of you agree that you are in a mutually exclusive relationship. I appreciate your integrity, but I would suggest waiting to see if the relationship is going to go somewhere. If you think it is, you can always state that you are currently unavailable.
Dear All, Thank you so much for your advice! It seems that everyone agreed on what should be done. I just want to know what rules I would be breaking if any :) We, women, definitely need to think about themselves first, and wait until a relationship has developed. It's just hard to work on building one relationship, if you do not really put your heart into it, because we don't want it to be broken..... The way I see it, if you found someone great, it makes no sense to keep looking, it makes sense to see if you are compatible......
Dear All, Thank you so much for your advice! It seems that everyone agreed on what should be done. I just want to know what rules I would be breaking if any :) We, women, definitely need to think about themselves first, and wait until a relationship has developed. It's just hard to work on building one relationship, if you do not really put your heart into it, because we don't want it to be broken..... The way I see it, if you found someone great, it makes no sense to keep looking, it makes sense to see if you are compatible......
I, too, agree with LaNegrita. Ekaterina. A man inviting you to dinner in no way translates into you allowing him to make any kinds of demands on you or put restrictions on you whatsoever. If the two of you enjoy the dinner and want to continue seeing each other, you still don't owe him any singular allegiance. We're talking about a first date, afterall. In person you two might not hit it off and not want to see each other again. Nothing in dating etiquette from any "Dating School" or etiquette guru I've ever read says that a man asking you out means you must now throw away all other connections and possibilities. That's what you do after you and a man have gotten to know each other well and discussed your relationship and decided together that you want to commit to the adult version of "going steady." In the meantime, hold onto your other connections, your other possibilities, and by all means, stay on your dating websites until you feel confident in your own heart that YOU don't want to bother pursuing any other love interests because you've found the one that makes you happy. Oh, and just don't be too quick to jump to that conclusion, either.... Oh, and as GW says, in the meantime....ENJOY!!!!!!!!!! Pat
I, too, agree with LaNegrita. Ekaterina. A man inviting you to dinner in no way translates into you allowing him to make any kinds of demands on you or put restrictions on you whatsoever. If the two of you enjoy the dinner and want to continue seeing each other, you still don't owe him any singular allegiance. We're talking about a first date, afterall. In person you two might not hit it off and not want to see each other again. Nothing in dating etiquette from any "Dating School" or etiquette guru I've ever read says that a man asking you out means you must now throw away all other connections and possibilities. That's what you do after you and a man have gotten to know each other well and discussed your relationship and decided together that you want to commit to the adult version of "going steady." In the meantime, hold onto your other connections, your other possibilities, and by all means, stay on your dating websites until you feel confident in your own heart that YOU don't want to bother pursuing any other love interests because you've found the one that makes you happy. Oh, and just don't be too quick to jump to that conclusion, either.... Oh, and as GW says, in the meantime....ENJOY!!!!!!!!!! Pat
Agree with LaNegrita. I have made the mistake before of thinking that, because a guy seemed to be very very very interested, that it meant we were beginning to develop into something more meaningful than a meet and greet. So, guess what? Down goes my profile. Only, his remained up, and with daily activity/flirting, which I translate into still seeking better (silly, I may be, but never stupid). It's at that point that you learn to do what LaNegrita suggests...ask about his hopes, keep firm to yours, decide together when would be the right time to consider breaking other plans to focus on your possibility together. Before that, there is just the need to wait and see. And enjoy, oh yeah, that :)
Agree with LaNegrita. I have made the mistake before of thinking that, because a guy seemed to be very very very interested, that it meant we were beginning to develop into something more meaningful than a meet and greet. So, guess what? Down goes my profile. Only, his remained up, and with daily activity/flirting, which I translate into still seeking better (silly, I may be, but never stupid). It's at that point that you learn to do what LaNegrita suggests...ask about his hopes, keep firm to yours, decide together when would be the right time to consider breaking other plans to focus on your possibility together. Before that, there is just the need to wait and see. And enjoy, oh yeah, that :)
I don't think I would cancel any friendships or potential friendship just because he asks you out to dinner. He would not, so why would you? Maybe I'm speaking out of terms, but personally I would not until the relationship got stronger and we both agreed on the issue.
I don't think I would cancel any friendships or potential friendship just because he asks you out to dinner. He would not, so why would you? Maybe I'm speaking out of terms, but personally I would not until the relationship got stronger and we both agreed on the issue.
I think you're putting the cart before the horse. You need to wait until you have talked with the one gentleman that you're seeing about defining the relationship. There needs to be an agreement. If you cancel, and he's out dating you're going to be upset and hurt.
Wait dear heart, wait.
Hi,
I think you're putting the cart before the horse. You need to wait until you have talked with the one gentleman that you're seeing about defining the relationship. There needs to be an agreement. If you cancel, and he's out dating you're going to be upset and hurt.
