As I sit here in the waiting room to visit my dad.. I can't help but wonder about myself and my future. Whether it will be mostly alone or with someone.. just never know.
One thing that I have been wondering about is how long does it take the average educated man to "unwrap nasty". Ok so you're wondering what does that mean. Imagine this if you will..
Two women in their mid-30s, lovely in demeanor and dress, enjoying a glass of moscato whilst dining al fresco. What could they be talking about in earnest... let's listen in.
"So, tell me about John", says Diana.
"Well, he was amazing." replies Joan.
"Was? It's only been _________. Girl what happened? Wasn't the the guy with the fantastic job and kids?"
A frown covers Joan's face. She puts her wine goblet down and looks her best friend of 10 years square in her face, "He unwrapped nasty."
Diana rolls her eyes, "Oh lord are you serious? What did he do?"
Well.. what exactly does it mean to "unwrap nasty"? Since I kinda coined that phrase, let me tell you what it means to me.
The man you're dating begins to...
talk about other women that he's supposedly not talking to anymore
starts talking to you crazy (rude, terse, condescending)
questions you about what you're doing for no good reason
blows your phone up (calls ALL the time, AND when he doesn't get an answer.. immediately calls back)
in the case of interracial couples, starts questioning why you aren't into (insert the same race as the woman here). In my case, asking why I'm not into black men.
Sure, this happens to men as well.. you know the great looking lady that suddenly went psycho right AFTER you introduced her to someone.. LOL
Personally, I'm a WYSIWYG kinda gal. What you get on the first date.. well that's it. My friends always say, you should hold back. Don't be as outgoing or whatnot with dates. Well but that's the way that I am. My personality is to be warm, caring and engaging. If they can't handle that, what should I do fake it... NAH.. I would very much prefer for a man to be just the way he is everyday with me when we meet. If you joke around.. please.. joke around. If you're serious or passionate about issues.. hey let's talk about it. I'd rather know what I'm dealing with than to wait down the road .. and you..
UNWRAP NASTY!!!!!
Happy Father's Day!! To all the dad's.
As I sit here in the waiting room to visit my dad.. I can't help but wonder about myself and my future. Whether it will be mostly alone or with someone.. just never know.
One thing that I have been wondering about is how long does it take the average educated man to "unwrap nasty". Ok so you're wondering what does that mean. Imagine this if you will..
Two women in their mid-30s, lovely in demeanor and dress, enjoying a glass of moscato whilst dining al fresco. What could they be talking about in earnest... let's listen in.
"So, tell me about John", says Diana.
"Well, he was amazing." replies Joan.
"Was? It's only been _________. Girl what happened? Wasn't the the guy with the fantastic job and kids?"
A frown covers Joan's face. She puts her wine goblet down and looks her best friend of 10 years square in her face, "He unwrapped nasty."
Diana rolls her eyes, "Oh lord are you serious? What did he do?"
Well.. what exactly does it mean to "unwrap nasty"? Since I kinda coined that phrase, let me tell you what it means to me.
The man you're dating begins to...
talk about other women that he's supposedly not talking to anymore
starts talking to you crazy (rude, terse, condescending)
questions you about what you're doing for no good reason
blows your phone up (calls ALL the time, AND when he doesn't get an answer.. immediately calls back)
in the case of interracial couples, starts questioning why you aren't into (insert the same race as the woman here). In my case, asking why I'm not into black men.
Sure, this happens to men as well.. you know the great looking lady that suddenly went psycho right AFTER you introduced her to someone.. LOL
Personally, I'm a WYSIWYG kinda gal. What you get on the first date.. well that's it. My friends always say, you should hold back. Don't be as outgoing or whatnot with dates. Well but that's the way that I am. My personality is to be warm, caring and engaging. If they can't handle that, what should I do fake it... NAH.. I would very much prefer for a man to be just the way he is everyday with me when we meet. If you joke around.. please.. joke around. If you're serious or passionate about issues.. hey let's talk about it. I'd rather know what I'm dealing with than to wait down the road .. and you..
ha! such a funny funny phrase! ya know, i'm almost reluctant to go through the whole process of setting up a meeting, getting ready for a date you know,in my case men have to travel quite a ways to get to me due to my location. (UGH!)point being, if i see a "red flag" even in the first ten mins. of our date, i'm "unwrapping nasty" and ending the evening on the spot.sounds harsh, i know but i've been dating all my life and if i've learned anygthing, its to never ignore the red flags!!! red flags turn into "nasty" right? so i ask you this...is it fair for me to "unwrap the nasty"?
ha! such a funny funny phrase! ya know, i'm almost reluctant to go through the whole process of setting up a meeting, getting ready for a date you know,in my case men have to travel quite a ways to get to me due to my location. (UGH!)point being, if i see a "red flag" even in the first ten mins. of our date, i'm "unwrapping nasty" and ending the evening on the spot.sounds harsh, i know but i've been dating all my life and if i've learned anygthing, its to never ignore the red flags!!! red flags turn into "nasty" right? so i ask you this...is it fair for me to "unwrap the nasty"?
I like it please do not mind if i coin your phrase. I can relate because with me what you see is what I am. I do not have time to wrap the nasty. I like your posts
I like it please do not mind if i coin your phrase. I can relate because with me what you see is what I am. I do not have time to wrap the nasty. I like your posts
Hi, there LaNegrita... UNWRAPPING THE NASTY. I love that phrase. It's so wonderfully concise. And so very practical. Thanks so much for posting it, LaNegrita. Your feelings about unwrapping the nasty early on,[if I'm reading you correctly] so as to avoid finding out The Nasty after you're already too emotionally involved to extricate yourself from the relationship with grace and a minimum of hurt feelings, reminds me of a very dear friend of mine. A man I think of as my brother. 15 or 16 years ago, when he went on his first date with the woman he's still with today, he violated every rule in the dating book by dumping out on the dinner table of that first date all his bad points. Told her every fault he saw in himself. He held almost nothing back. He did it with a great deal of humor and panache. That, according to him---AND according to the woman. Her reaction, when she got home from that date and had some time alone to think about it, was: "My Lord, what am I getting myself into????? But, she was so intrigued, so charmed....that even though there was still some nasty he was holding back until she was hooked--well, as I've said, she's still with him. So, what's my point? Be yourself, because no matter how hard you try, you can't be anybody else--or what you're not--for very long. You may have to go through an entire cornucopia of first dates before you run into that one man who is just going to adore you for being you about 20 minutes into a first date. I don't know you from Adam---or, I should say, Eve--of course. But, you strike me as a thoroughly engaging charmer. And you have youth on your side. [Hey, I'm 65....you have youth on your side!!!!!] Sooner or later, with your tenacity to keep working at it, that man who just can't live without you once he's found you is going to come along, I'm sure. Oh, and referencing your opening remark about your Dad....I do hope it was a sweet visit and that wherever he is that you have to go into a waiting room to visit him...I hope he's doing well and that YOU had a happy Father's Day. Pat
Hi, there LaNegrita... UNWRAPPING THE NASTY. I love that phrase. It's so wonderfully concise. And so very practical. Thanks so much for posting it, LaNegrita. Your feelings about unwrapping the nasty early on,[if I'm reading you correctly] so as to avoid finding out The Nasty after you're already too emotionally involved to extricate yourself from the relationship with grace and a minimum of hurt feelings, reminds me of a very dear friend of mine. A man I think of as my brother. 15 or 16 years ago, when he went on his first date with the woman he's still with today, he violated every rule in the dating book by dumping out on the dinner table of that first date all his bad points. Told her every fault he saw in himself. He held almost nothing back. He did it with a great deal of humor and panache. That, according to him---AND according to the woman. Her reaction, when she got home from that date and had some time alone to think about it, was: "My Lord, what am I getting myself into????? But, she was so intrigued, so charmed....that even though there was still some nasty he was holding back until she was hooked--well, as I've said, she's still with him. So, what's my point? Be yourself, because no matter how hard you try, you can't be anybody else--or what you're not--for very long. You may have to go through an entire cornucopia of first dates before you run into that one man who is just going to adore you for being you about 20 minutes into a first date. I don't know you from Adam---or, I should say, Eve--of course. But, you strike me as a thoroughly engaging charmer. And you have youth on your side. [Hey, I'm 65....you have youth on your side!!!!!] Sooner or later, with your tenacity to keep working at it, that man who just can't live without you once he's found you is going to come along, I'm sure. Oh, and referencing your opening remark about your Dad....I do hope it was a sweet visit and that wherever he is that you have to go into a waiting room to visit him...I hope he's doing well and that YOU had a happy Father's Day. Pat
