There is a difference between assertive behavior and aggressive.
The instance in the bar to me was just rude. First an excuse me and a start of a conversation isn't wrong, but to blatantly come across that she thinks she should have taken precedence of your attention just because she sat down next to you is, well, down right rude.
It is one thing to check a man out, come on ladies, we all do it, I just hope most of us aren't so blatant, although sometimes, well you know, guys do the same thing. But in any case, there is no excuse for lack of manners.
Both men and woman like being "chased", face it, it makes us feel good.
If I see a man I want to talk to I'll start a conversation, or in the case of this site, send a wink. If he wants to talk or is interested, then we can chat. If not, no harm.
There is a difference between assertive behavior and aggressive.
The instance in the bar to me was just rude. First an excuse me and a start of a conversation isn't wrong, but to blatantly come across that she thinks she should have taken precedence of your attention just because she sat down next to you is, well, down right rude.
It is one thing to check a man out, come on ladies, we all do it, I just hope most of us aren't so blatant, although sometimes, well you know, guys do the same thing. But in any case, there is no excuse for lack of manners.
Both men and woman like being "chased", face it, it makes us feel good.
If I see a man I want to talk to I'll start a conversation, or in the case of this site, send a wink. If he wants to talk or is interested, then we can chat. If not, no harm.
oh my gosh! I wish I could be that bold, seriously I am a very shy person but a part of me would love to do what she did i.e. if you have the power and boldness then I guess its fair :)
oh my gosh! I wish I could be that bold, seriously I am a very shy person but a part of me would love to do what she did i.e. if you have the power and boldness then I guess its fair :)
Do you think that her insisting to pay was an exercise in control for her rather than a gesture? Do you think powerful women use money as a tool for control .... as a means to buy what they want? Does this apply to men also, sooooo many questions ......
Quoting michael_080
Part of our discussion was about me paying. She said that she insisted that she pay. I'm not insecure enough to put up too much of a fight over that. If she'd insisted, I would have let her.
Quoting michael_080
Part of our discussion was about me paying. She said that she insisted that she pay. I'm not insecure enough to put up too much of a fight over that. If she'd insisted, I would have let her.
Do you think that her insisting to pay was an exercise in control for her rather than a gesture? Do you think powerful women use money as a tool for control .... as a means to buy what they want? Does this apply to men also, sooooo many questions ......
Lol Michael I forgot you were a root'n toot'n Texan ! Do you have the boots to go with the hat? Im willing to bet , that if she HAD interested you sufficiently you wouldnt have let her pay anyway. Am I right?
Lol Michael I forgot you were a root'n toot'n Texan ! Do you have the boots to go with the hat? Im willing to bet , that if she HAD interested you sufficiently you wouldnt have let her pay anyway. Am I right?
Michael Michael Michael whats the problem? Surely a man of your depth and character will not be emasculated by such boldness? Hats off to her ... what a woman! Hell men have been doing this to women for centuries. Why shouldnt this lady make you an offer if shes interested.... oh and Michael its a little churlish of you not to have accepted isnt it? Unless of course you genuinely were not interested..... well? were you lol
Michael Michael Michael whats the problem? Surely a man of your depth and character will not be emasculated by such boldness? Hats off to her ... what a woman! Hell men have been doing this to women for centuries. Why shouldnt this lady make you an offer if shes interested.... oh and Michael its a little churlish of you not to have accepted isnt it? Unless of course you genuinely were not interested..... well? were you lol
That's great. I guess successful women are different than successful men unless they are in the mob. Successful women attempt to find men of substance where successful men look for trophies (whether the women are intelligent or as dumb as a box of rocks). I am not saying there is anything wrong with either approach but it's not unusual to see an older man with a younger woman than an older woman with a younger man. Unfortunately women are called cougars and men are called, well, what are they called? Hey let's come up with a name! And it shouldn't be derogatory.
Quoting MissDee1
That's great. I guess successful women are different than successful men unless they are in the mob. Successful women attempt to find men of substance where successful men look for trophies (whether the women are intelligent or as dumb as a box of rocks). I am not saying there is anything wrong with either approach but it's not unusual to see an older man with a younger woman than an older woman with a younger man. Unfortunately women are called cougars and men are called, well, what are they called? Hey let's come up with a name! And it shouldn't be derogatory.
That's great. I guess successful women are different than successful men unless they are in the mob. Successful women attempt to find men of substance where successful men look for trophies (whether the women are intelligent or as dumb as a box of rocks). I am not saying there is anything wrong with either approach but it's not unusual to see an older man with a younger woman than an older woman with a younger man. Unfortunately women are called cougars and men are called, well, what are they called? Hey let's come up with a name! And it shouldn't be derogatory.
That's great. I guess successful women are different than successful men unless they are in the mob. Successful women attempt to find men of substance where successful men look for trophies (whether the women are intelligent or as dumb as a box of rocks). I am not saying there is anything wrong with either approach but it's not unusual to see an older man with a younger woman than an older woman with a younger man. Unfortunately women are called cougars and men are called, well, what are they called? Hey let's come up with a name! And it shouldn't be derogatory.
You think a plane ticket is being aggressive? Lordy, they park outside my door and try to tear my clothes off every time I try to leave the house. I am moving to a deserted island.
rotflmao
You think a plane ticket is being aggressive? Lordy, they park outside my door and try to tear my clothes off every time I try to leave the house. I am moving to a deserted island.
the dilemma of our modern life in metropolitan areas. I am finding that the men are lazy and dont do much in the way of pursuing. The internet has fostered a " kid in a candy store " mindset. Everyone seems to think that they are " all that" and can get anyone they want!
The basics still apply,,,you wont land that gorgeous human who is a 10 when you are a 5, rich people prefer their own kind ( actually every economic group does !) A highly educated person will not be happy with a dolt regardless of what they may have.
The biological imperative of chase and pursuit are hardwired into us. People VALUE what they have to work for over what is handed to them.
I am an assertive and sometimes outright aggressive female,,,when I need to be. BUT i HAVE learned the hard way that (at least i) cant pursue a man and have a good relationship.
Sad as it truly is...if the man is not the one wanting the relationship, it simply will fadeaway quickly.
In the romantic arena, women attract the males attention and HE decides if he is interested or not. I do wish that this was not true. but it is.
Had that woman displayed her interest a bit more coyly, and been somewhat mysterious,,Mr M might have been interested.
and Bill Z shows us what men really think of that propsal....its not all that alluring or special and he'd pass, too.
the dilemma of our modern life in metropolitan areas. I am finding that the men are lazy and dont do much in the way of pursuing. The internet has fostered a " kid in a candy store " mindset. Everyone seems to think that they are " all that" and can get anyone they want!
The basics still apply,,,you wont land that gorgeous human who is a 10 when you are a 5, rich people prefer their own kind ( actually every economic group does !) A highly educated person will not be happy with a dolt regardless of what they may have.
The biological imperative of chase and pursuit are hardwired into us. People VALUE what they have to work for over what is handed to them.
I am an assertive and sometimes outright aggressive female,,,when I need to be. BUT i HAVE learned the hard way that (at least i) cant pursue a man and have a good relationship.
Sad as it truly is...if the man is not the one wanting the relationship, it simply will fadeaway quickly.
In the romantic arena, women attract the males attention and HE decides if he is interested or not. I do wish that this was not true. but it is.
Had that woman displayed her interest a bit more coyly, and been somewhat mysterious,,Mr M might have been interested.
and Bill Z shows us what men really think of that propsal....its not all that alluring or special and he'd pass, too.
Interesting subject and question to ponder... For me - I do cherish the traditional and "old fashion" ways. More because of my age, experience and upbringing than anything else. I am not sure what the rules are or even if there are any (LOL) where dating is concerned. I enjoy a comfortable life, am retired, have traveled the world, and most importantly have never been afraid to experience anything if it interested me. I am, as my daughter describes me , a free spirit! But, as with anything there are lines, boundries and rules so I think it depends on the people involved more than anything. And of course, that requires honesty and communication - something many just are no good at : ) So what you are really asking is this - is it ok to feel this way and my answer to you is: Of course!! If you do not like something or feel uncomfortable you "should" speak up!! Intrique shouldn't take serveral emails - you either like it or not Haha! For me I know it when I see it
Interesting subject and question to ponder... For me - I do cherish the traditional and "old fashion" ways. More because of my age, experience and upbringing than anything else. I am not sure what the rules are or even if there are any (LOL) where dating is concerned. I enjoy a comfortable life, am retired, have traveled the world, and most importantly have never been afraid to experience anything if it interested me. I am, as my daughter describes me , a free spirit! But, as with anything there are lines, boundries and rules so I think it depends on the people involved more than anything. And of course, that requires honesty and communication - something many just are no good at : ) So what you are really asking is this - is it ok to feel this way and my answer to you is: Of course!! If you do not like something or feel uncomfortable you "should" speak up!! Intrique shouldn't take serveral emails - you either like it or not Haha! For me I know it when I see it
I don't see antyhing wrong with a woman being bold and going after what she wants as long as it is done in a classy way. To me it would be a spur of the moment decision based upon my mood and prior responsibilities. I also have the luxury and the means of being able to pick up and go where ever I want to go; whenever I want to go; so the offer would not be all that tempting. JMHO...
I don't see antyhing wrong with a woman being bold and going after what she wants as long as it is done in a classy way. To me it would be a spur of the moment decision based upon my mood and prior responsibilities. I also have the luxury and the means of being able to pick up and go where ever I want to go; whenever I want to go; so the offer would not be all that tempting. JMHO...
