QUOTING CG: Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank t CG: I actually had to look that one up! Lovely photo... Especially the Rottweiler. LMAO!!!!!!!! Pat
QUOTING CG: Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank t CG: I actually had to look that one up! Lovely photo... Especially the Rottweiler. LMAO!!!!!!!! Pat
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
Conyers~
You know it could also be that the women that you have come across, and I'm referencing black women, are a bit more progressive. Many black women, don't see the internet as a viable way to meet a partner. There's still the "meet him at church", or "my friend knows a guy". I've been told point blank by SEVERAL educated black women that I'll never meet anyone online. So... in everyday life.. that could be the factor and not you're picture. LOL Also, there's the whole "black women remain within the race" phenomenon that is VERY real. Despite the fact that black men date.. well everything. DOUBLE STANDARD!!! don't get me started LOL
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
Conyers~
You know it could also be that the women that you have come across, and I'm referencing black women, are a bit more progressive. Many black women, don't see the internet as a viable way to meet a partner. There's still the "meet him at church", or "my friend knows a guy". I've been told point blank by SEVERAL educated black women that I'll never meet anyone online. So... in everyday life.. that could be the factor and not you're picture. LOL Also, there's the whole "black women remain within the race" phenomenon that is VERY real. Despite the fact that black men date.. well everything. DOUBLE STANDARD!!! don't get me started LOL
OK. My wedding picture. NOW, you see why black women ignore me? (and all other women who don't have multiple 'Jerry Springer' appearances.) :):)
And I'll not post pics because I am here only for the blogs now. Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank that juice.:)
Awww. Thanks CG! What a great photo; the mystery image revealed. Is that a mullet I see :)?
I'm glad you are with someone who makes you happy. Your wife is lovely and am sure appreciates the wit that we so often see in your posts. Keep them coming!
Sass
Quoting Conyersguy
OK. My wedding picture. NOW, you see why black women ignore me? (and all other women who don't have multiple 'Jerry Springer' appearances.) :):)
And I'll not post pics because I am here only for the blogs now. Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank that juice.:)
Awww. Thanks CG! What a great photo; the mystery image revealed. Is that a mullet I see :)?
I'm glad you are with someone who makes you happy. Your wife is lovely and am sure appreciates the wit that we so often see in your posts. Keep them coming!
people do not like to admit it, but race does play a huge role when selecting a romantic partner. I will be friends with anyone.Life is better with diversity.
But for my most intimate connection with another human being..my most personal relationship on earth,,I want a man who is similar to me in the most basic way.
I dont care what anyone else does or what they choose for themselves, thats not my business.
Quoting michael_080
My buddy tells me that he gets turned down or no responses by non-caucasian women four times as much on this site as he does caucasian.
He asked me what I found and I honestly rarely attempt to connect here with anyone unless a profile really stands out to me.
With the quality of people here (i.e. educated, intelligent, cultured, accomplished, successful, etc.) I'm surprised that he finds that to be true for himself.
Any clue/comments?
(Bill, since you wouldn't ask, I'll let you know what I find out, buddy! :-)
Quoting michael_080
My buddy tells me that he gets turned down or no responses by non-caucasian women four times as much on this site as he does caucasian.
He asked me what I found and I honestly rarely attempt to connect here with anyone unless a profile really stands out to me.
With the quality of people here (i.e. educated, intelligent, cultured, accomplished, successful, etc.) I'm surprised that he finds that to be true for himself.
Any clue/comments?
(Bill, since you wouldn't ask, I'll let you know what I find out, buddy! :-)
people do not like to admit it, but race does play a huge role when selecting a romantic partner. I will be friends with anyone.Life is better with diversity.
But for my most intimate connection with another human being..my most personal relationship on earth,,I want a man who is similar to me in the most basic way.
I dont care what anyone else does or what they choose for themselves, thats not my business.
OK. My wedding picture. NOW, you see why black women ignore me? (and all other women who don't have multiple 'Jerry Springer' appearances.) :):)
And I'll not post pics because I am here only for the blogs now. Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank that juice.:)
Quoting SassnClass
CG, Having read Pat's comments, please post your pic one day! I've always tried to picture you; I often enjoy your posts. Sass
Quoting SassnClass
CG, Having read Pat's comments, please post your pic one day! I've always tried to picture you; I often enjoy your posts. Sass
OK. My wedding picture. NOW, you see why black women ignore me? (and all other women who don't have multiple 'Jerry Springer' appearances.) :):)
And I'll not post pics because I am here only for the blogs now. Picture a homely version of a cross between the bearded Sean Connery and Hemingway. And Pat is sweet, but she let the scuppernongs sit a little too long before she drank that juice.:)
Sass, You're posts are always on point. As to the gentleman who contacted you, I would have probably talked with the man who IMd me. I think because he could have very well have wanted to date a Black woman but was so tied into cultural folkways and rejection that he didn't want to get hurt. We all have baggage. It's inevitable. If you were face to face he definitely wouldn't have said anything for fear of rejection. Men aren't much different than we are. In fact, I think they take rejection far harder than we do. I'm beginning to think it really hurts their pride.. the whole manly thing. If you recall I was really anxious about that whole deal but.. hey..you like it I love it. I'm going to "go" for what I really want.. and that's kinda specific. I adore men in their 50s. I always have, which makes me wonder what I'll think in my 40s. LOL I'm divorced so this time around I will find what I really want. Period. I've read your profile.. you'll find someone fantastic!!!
Thanks for your kind words LaNegrita!
You're right, I probably should have responded and engaged in conversation. Perhaps this could have been a chance for him to open his horizons and talk to someone he would not have normally chatted with...If he attempts to IM me again I'll respond!
I also agree that I should be a little more proactive about someone who peaks my interests. Fear of rejection goes both ways :)..So far, I've received emails from several interesting people, but no spark yet.
I will continue to stay positive and see what develops!
Sass
Quoting LaNegrita12
Sass, You're posts are always on point. As to the gentleman who contacted you, I would have probably talked with the man who IMd me. I think because he could have very well have wanted to date a Black woman but was so tied into cultural folkways and rejection that he didn't want to get hurt. We all have baggage. It's inevitable. If you were face to face he definitely wouldn't have said anything for fear of rejection. Men aren't much different than we are. In fact, I think they take rejection far harder than we do. I'm beginning to think it really hurts their pride.. the whole manly thing. If you recall I was really anxious about that whole deal but.. hey..you like it I love it. I'm going to "go" for what I really want.. and that's kinda specific. I adore men in their 50s. I always have, which makes me wonder what I'll think in my 40s. LOL I'm divorced so this time around I will find what I really want. Period. I've read your profile.. you'll find someone fantastic!!!
Thanks for your kind words LaNegrita!
You're right, I probably should have responded and engaged in conversation. Perhaps this could have been a chance for him to open his horizons and talk to someone he would not have normally chatted with...If he attempts to IM me again I'll respond!
I also agree that I should be a little more proactive about someone who peaks my interests. Fear of rejection goes both ways :)..So far, I've received emails from several interesting people, but no spark yet.
I will continue to stay positive and see what develops!
CG, Having read Pat's comments, please post your pic one day! I've always tried to picture you; I often enjoy your posts. Sass
Quoting Conyersguy
Michael,
I would agree with 'Bill.' When I was looking, I found that I was virtually invisible to black women. There were exceptions, of course. But, since I fit so many of the good ol' boy Southern, outdoorsman, redneck demographics, too, I'm not sure how much of it was race-aversion, as opposed to redneck-aversion.:):) I would make the sweeping generalization that fewer black women are tolerant of the outdoorsman version of the white male. More caucasian women have brothers or dad who fit that mold, so I think are more likely to be able to tolerate such a type.
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
Quoting Conyersguy
Michael,
I would agree with 'Bill.' When I was looking, I found that I was virtually invisible to black women. There were exceptions, of course. But, since I fit so many of the good ol' boy Southern, outdoorsman, redneck demographics, too, I'm not sure how much of it was race-aversion, as opposed to redneck-aversion.:):) I would make the sweeping generalization that fewer black women are tolerant of the outdoorsman version of the white male. More caucasian women have brothers or dad who fit that mold, so I think are more likely to be able to tolerate such a type.
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
CG, Having read Pat's comments, please post your pic one day! I've always tried to picture you; I often enjoy your posts. Sass
Hi Michael, I guess your friend should check/possibly adjust his profile and see if that makes a difference! Glad that you don't have a preference. Having read some of your previous blogs, you always gave me the impression that you were open-minded and open-hearted for the right lady! Sass
Quoting michael_080
Sass,
THAT is interesting. I guess I overlooked the ethnicity option. Perhaps that's where my buddy is hung up and not getting responses.
Thanks, Michael
P.S. I went and looked at my own. I had 'No Preference' on ethnicity. I didn't look at my buddy's. I'll check his out.
Quoting michael_080
Sass,
THAT is interesting. I guess I overlooked the ethnicity option. Perhaps that's where my buddy is hung up and not getting responses.
Thanks, Michael
P.S. I went and looked at my own. I had 'No Preference' on ethnicity. I didn't look at my buddy's. I'll check his out.
Hi Michael, I guess your friend should check/possibly adjust his profile and see if that makes a difference! Glad that you don't have a preference. Having read some of your previous blogs, you always gave me the impression that you were open-minded and open-hearted for the right lady! Sass
Hi Michael, Id like to make a comment on your comment: "I honestly rarely attempt to connect unless a profile really stands out to me", I do appreciate and respect your thoughts on this, but its not everyone that writes as well as you do, Ive read almost all of what you have written and enjoyed the knowledge you bring over, hence getting to know someone via skype, telephone calls (the voice carries a message as well as the eyes) so to start with ---its the voice after the skyping contact. You could be missing some lovely ladies by avoiding contact because the profile did not catch your eye >>> heart. One other blog of yours "why I we on the site well "I will speak for myself. I am on this site because I know this is where I will meet my soulmate, many of my friends have so why not me. keep writing I enjoy it much Jamiewhite
Hi Michael, Id like to make a comment on your comment: "I honestly rarely attempt to connect unless a profile really stands out to me", I do appreciate and respect your thoughts on this, but its not everyone that writes as well as you do, Ive read almost all of what you have written and enjoyed the knowledge you bring over, hence getting to know someone via skype, telephone calls (the voice carries a message as well as the eyes) so to start with ---its the voice after the skyping contact. You could be missing some lovely ladies by avoiding contact because the profile did not catch your eye >>> heart. One other blog of yours "why I we on the site well "I will speak for myself. I am on this site because I know this is where I will meet my soulmate, many of my friends have so why not me. keep writing I enjoy it much Jamiewhite
Sass, You're posts are always on point. As to the gentleman who contacted you, I would have probably talked with the man who IMd me. I think because he could have very well have wanted to date a Black woman but was so tied into cultural folkways and rejection that he didn't want to get hurt. We all have baggage. It's inevitable. If you were face to face he definitely wouldn't have said anything for fear of rejection. Men aren't much different than we are. In fact, I think they take rejection far harder than we do. I'm beginning to think it really hurts their pride.. the whole manly thing. If you recall I was really anxious about that whole deal but.. hey..you like it I love it. I'm going to "go" for what I really want.. and that's kinda specific. I adore men in their 50s. I always have, which makes me wonder what I'll think in my 40s. LOL I'm divorced so this time around I will find what I really want. Period. I've read your profile.. you'll find someone fantastic!!!
Sass, You're posts are always on point. As to the gentleman who contacted you, I would have probably talked with the man who IMd me. I think because he could have very well have wanted to date a Black woman but was so tied into cultural folkways and rejection that he didn't want to get hurt. We all have baggage. It's inevitable. If you were face to face he definitely wouldn't have said anything for fear of rejection. Men aren't much different than we are. In fact, I think they take rejection far harder than we do. I'm beginning to think it really hurts their pride.. the whole manly thing. If you recall I was really anxious about that whole deal but.. hey..you like it I love it. I'm going to "go" for what I really want.. and that's kinda specific. I adore men in their 50s. I always have, which makes me wonder what I'll think in my 40s. LOL I'm divorced so this time around I will find what I really want. Period. I've read your profile.. you'll find someone fantastic!!!
Interesting post and I hope you receive diverse insights from fellow bloggers.
For me personally, someone's ethnicity or religion doesn't matter. I want someone who I can connect with, have similar values and interests with and ultimately chemistry. He could be Black, White, Latino, Asian, Native American, etc...who knows. As long as we treat each other with mutual respect and make each other happy who cares about what color we are?
There could be other reasons why your friend was turned down that might not have anything to do with his ethinicity....Maybe his initial approach was off. Without knowing how he may have introduced himself, I don't have much to work with!
I have read MM profiles where someone listed White as their only match preference. Then there are others who have listed they are interested in everyone but Black women. Still others do not care... I tend to focus on those who show me they are a little more open-minded. People want what they want and I will respect that...
Oddly enough once I received an IM from someone on MM who's profile said their ideal match was White and they listed no other ethnic groups. I didn't respond because I wondered why bother saying hello when your profile tells me that there is no interest in possibly meeting a person of color... I didn't want to waste the time... Guess I'll never know whether that was the right decision or not. I could have said hi and perhaps given him a chance to get to know me, but I was frankly a little put off.
Sass
Michael,
Interesting post and I hope you receive diverse insights from fellow bloggers.
For me personally, someone's ethnicity or religion doesn't matter. I want someone who I can connect with, have similar values and interests with and ultimately chemistry. He could be Black, White, Latino, Asian, Native American, etc...who knows. As long as we treat each other with mutual respect and make each other happy who cares about what color we are?
There could be other reasons why your friend was turned down that might not have anything to do with his ethinicity....Maybe his initial approach was off. Without knowing how he may have introduced himself, I don't have much to work with!
I have read MM profiles where someone listed White as their only match preference. Then there are others who have listed they are interested in everyone but Black women. Still others do not care... I tend to focus on those who show me they are a little more open-minded. People want what they want and I will respect that...
Oddly enough once I received an IM from someone on MM who's profile said their ideal match was White and they listed no other ethnic groups. I didn't respond because I wondered why bother saying hello when your profile tells me that there is no interest in possibly meeting a person of color... I didn't want to waste the time... Guess I'll never know whether that was the right decision or not. I could have said hi and perhaps given him a chance to get to know me, but I was frankly a little put off.
I would agree with 'Bill.' When I was looking, I found that I was virtually invisible to black women. There were exceptions, of course. But, since I fit so many of the good ol' boy Southern, outdoorsman, redneck demographics, too, I'm not sure how much of it was race-aversion, as opposed to redneck-aversion.:):) I would make the sweeping generalization that fewer black women are tolerant of the outdoorsman version of the white male. More caucasian women have brothers or dad who fit that mold, so I think are more likely to be able to tolerate such a type.
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
Michael,
I would agree with 'Bill.' When I was looking, I found that I was virtually invisible to black women. There were exceptions, of course. But, since I fit so many of the good ol' boy Southern, outdoorsman, redneck demographics, too, I'm not sure how much of it was race-aversion, as opposed to redneck-aversion.:):) I would make the sweeping generalization that fewer black women are tolerant of the outdoorsman version of the white male. More caucasian women have brothers or dad who fit that mold, so I think are more likely to be able to tolerate such a type.
I will note that I was not AS invisible to black women online, as those I saw day to day in everyday life. The optimist would say the ones online are brighter, on average. The cynic (or realist):):) would say the ones in person saw what I really looked like. :):)
